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Introducing Dear Haverfriend: Advice on Everything Haverford

Hey, everyone! I am a real Haverford student and I have strong opinions about your life. Just remember that I can’t substitute for professional advice because I am an undergrad and consequently I know nothing.

Dear Haverfriend,

My suite mate has loud sex with her boyfriend almost every weekend when he comes to visit, and sometimes in the middle of the week. I already tried talking to her about it, and it’s gotten a little better, but I can still hear them from our common room and I don’t know what to do.


Done With the Moaning

Dear Moaning,

    As far as I see it you have two options. You can either:

  1. Do the brave thing and talk to your suitemate again. The key here is to be as nonchalant as possible. Use the same tone as you would if you were asking her to turn down her music, because honestly, it’s noise just like anything else. “Hey Helga, I know I mentioned before that sometimes I can hear you and Idris Elba during the night, but I’m still having a little trouble with the noise, so I was wondering if we could talk about it and maybe work out a solution together.” My guess is that a second request from you will fix the problem, but here are a few other solutions you could raise with her: Can she give you a heads-up before the BF comes over? Can they move the party to his place sometimes? Can the two of you agree that weekends are fair game, but weeknights need to be quiet? As always, listen and empathize.


  1. b) Do the less-brave thing. If you can study in the library, or wear headphones, or watch a loud movie on Saturday night without feeling overly inconvenienced, then it might be worth it to let this slide. Lack of resentment is key, however. If you end up holding a secret grudge against her, that will just damage your relationship and create tension in the suite.

Dear Haverfriend,

I don’t have summer plans! Should I be freaking out?


Not An Intern

Dear Not an Intern,

No. It’s very probable that you will lead a happy and fulfilling life even if you don’t land a fancy internship. It might feel like all your friends have something exciting to do this summer, but the truth is that summer jobs are only one factor among many that will make up your resume.If you’re really concerned, try making an appointment with the CCPA to talk about some things you might be interested in. Consider this an opportunity to do some volunteering, part-time work in your hometown, spend time with family or friends, camp counseling, hiking, traveling, research– whatever you can afford or think would be personally enriching for you. It also might be worth it to ask around with family friends. Even if they can’t offer you a paid position, they may be able to point you in the right direction and give you some valuable advice.


That’s it for this week! If you have a question or are in need of advice, use the form below to submit something for next week’s column.

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